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  Editing my profile
Posted by: ziggy - 09-24-2014, 01:33 PM - Forum: General Chat and Banter and Sillyness! Anything goes. - Replies (2)

I'm want to put a profile piccy on and edit my profile but can't figure out how to do it. Help please.

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  Mountain Warehouse 50% sale (Genuine)
Posted by: Kingy - 09-24-2014, 10:27 AM - Forum: General Chat and Banter and Sillyness! Anything goes. - Replies (11)

Just thought I'd give folk a heads up on this. You order online then click and collect or have goods delivered. Its a true 50% sale.

If you haven't bought from them before they do walking, hiking, running, cycling gear. As many items are generic base/ mid layers or outers and don't tend to be daft colours they can be used for whatever you want. Its their own branding.

I've got a few jackets and tops from them and they have proved to be very hard wearing and extremely good value for money. We've also had boots for Yaz and the kids which have been very good.

Their returns policy is excellent if something doesn't fit, you don't like it just take/send it back ... or it becomes faulty in first 12 months they will exchange.

If you do order, be aware their sizing is generous. I'm usually L or XL due to my height, but am generally M from here.

http://www.mountainwarehouse.com/?utm_so...gpak.co.uk

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  Joke Thread ... Add yours.
Posted by: Kingy - 09-23-2014, 04:52 PM - Forum: General Chat and Banter and Sillyness! Anything goes. - Replies (55)

Bloke hates his wife's cat so much he drives to the next town and dumps it. When he gets home its there.
Next day he drives 50 miles and dumps it. When he gets home its there again.
So next day he drives to the other side of the country and dumps it.
6 hours later he rings his wife and asks "Is that fecking cat home?"
"yes.. Why?" asks the wife....
Hubby says "Put the bloody thing on the phone, I'm lost."

---

I just asked siri "surely it's not going to rain today"
She said "It will and don't call me Shirley"

Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.

----

I've got a meeting at Gamblers Anonymous today...it's at twenty five to one...

----

A typical macho man married a typical good looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules.
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, what time I want, and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."

----

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the
room. 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I'm just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he asks solemnly.
The wife is almost reduced to tears herself, just thinking how caring and sensitive her husband is. 'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your dad caught us in the back seat of my car?'
'Yes, I remember,' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?'
'I remember that, too' she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says....
'I would have gotten out today!

----

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mum asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mum fainted.

----

They say there's a peeping tom in almost every street nowadays. Well, I know for a fact it's not the girl who lives opposite me.
She just sits in her underwear in her bedroom most of the time, watching TV and playing with her phone!

----

Jeff Wayne couldn't believe it when he came home one evening to find his wife bringing herself to orgasm with a chocolate bar.

"The chances of anyone coming from Mars, are a million to one!" He said!!

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  Hairy Cornflake guilty of cereal assault? ;-)
Posted by: Kingy - 09-23-2014, 04:44 PM - Forum: General Chat and Banter and Sillyness! Anything goes. - Replies (2)

DLT guilty.

Who's next?


Quote:Former Radio 1 presenter Dave Lee Travis has been found guilty of one count of indecent assault.

The ex-Top Of The Pops presenter was cleared of another count of indecent assault, and the jury was undecided on a count of sexual assault.

The 69-year-old DJ stared straight ahead with a stony expression as the verdicts were read out at London's Southwark Crown Court.

Judge Anthony Leonard QC warned him he was looking at "all options" for sentencing.

Travis, from Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, was convicted of groping a woman working on the Mrs Merton Show on January 17, 1995.

Prosecutors claimed he approached her as she stood smoking in the corridor and put his hands on her chest for at least 10-15 seconds until she ran away.

She spoke to police about the allegation following Travis' first indecent assault trial earlier this year.

Prosecutor Teresa Hay said the Crown would not be seeking a retrial on the count of sexual assault which the jury was hung on, and a formal verdict of not guilty was entered.

The jury forewoman said they had found Travis guilty of indecent assault by a majority of 10-2.

They returned their verdicts after 19 hours and 15 minutes of deliberations.

During the trial, prosecutors claimed Travis was an "opportunist" who acted as if he had the "perfect right" to grope young women.

Travis, who appeared in court under his real name David Griffin, faced a retrial after jurors failed to reach verdicts on two of the charges in February.

He was first arrested in 2012 under Operation Yewtree, Scotland Yard's investigation into historical sexual abuse in the wake of the Jimmy Savile scandal.

The allegations against him dated back to the 1990s when he was starring in panto, while the most recent was said to have happened during an interview with a journalist at his home in 2008.

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  3 days and counting .......
Posted by: Kingy - 09-22-2014, 02:52 PM - Forum: General Chat and Banter and Sillyness! Anything goes. - Replies (20)

Just a bit excited. This is being built up for me on Wednesday. I need to pop over to the bike shop on Wednesday afternoon (if all goes to plan) for an initial bike fit, then go for a ride, then back for any adjustments ...

[Image: cannondale-2015-synapse-carbon-5-105-roa..._False.png]

Its a 2015 Cannondale Synapse. It's a carbon frame with a decent spec. Never thought I'd buy a carbon bike, never mind a roadbike, but I've quite enjoyed getting back into cycling and my ankles (ligaments) and knees just can't take the pavement pounding I was doing running to work/home. I'm fine on the fells (soft impact) but end up running two days and then needing a rest day on hard surfaces. Get no trouble at all riding the bike(s).

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  Happy Birthday Croweman.
Posted by: Kingy - 09-19-2014, 09:12 AM - Forum: General Chat and Banter and Sillyness! Anything goes. - Replies (7)

Forum says its your Birthday Martin - So hope you have a great day mate. All the best. Cool

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  Pistorius trial
Posted by: croweman - 09-18-2014, 08:56 AM - Forum: General Chat and Banter and Sillyness! Anything goes. - Replies (8)

has anyone been following this case, and if so what are your views on the evidence given by the prosecution?

They outlined the Reeva had she been in the toilet would have surely shoulted out when Oscar screamed that he supposedly thought someone was breaking in and grabbed for his weapon. What they missed and i think this is important is why someone in an intimate relationship feels the need to get up and go into the toilet and lock the door? I don't know about anyone else but I feel comfortable enough and so does my mrs to bare all on the bog given that we share a bed.
Ok she may not feel ready to leave the door wide open but why lock it? That suggests to me she was barricading herself in to protect herself, which would explain the discrepancy in the witness statements in relation to the screams heard.
I think and this is purely conjecture they had a row she feared for her safety ran to the toilet locked herself in, he was raging and threatened to shoot the door if she didn't open it, and before he knew what he was doing the gun had gone off, then he has to fire again because he has already shot her and he's in deep shit.

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  See you suckers - I'm out of here! ............
Posted by: Kingy - 09-15-2014, 04:38 PM - Forum: General Chat and Banter and Sillyness! Anything goes. - Replies (6)

And this is why. Looks legit to me. Can't see any way it wouldn't be genuine. See you on a beach in Barbados. Cool Big Grin

Quote:EUROMILLIONS LOTTERY PROMOTION
382 CHANNEL DRIVE
PORT WASHINGTON, NY 11050,
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.


Winning Notice

The Team of Mega Million is Pleased to officially announce you as one of the lucky prize winners of the just concluded Ten Million ($10,000.000.00) prize draw sponsored by Publishers Clearing House. The total amount you have won being placed on Fourth place is One Million One Hundred Thousand Dollars (US$1,100,000.00)

Your Security Code is: H649PC32 As required by US Federal and State laws, your Security code and Prize information must be kept strictly confidential which means that you are precluded from discussing your win with 3rd parties such as (family members, friends and relatives).This is to prevent unlawful tampering and a means to reduce risks of fraud and scams from taking place.

To claim your prize money, kindly fill the form below and forward it to our Fiduciary Agent through telephone, e-mail or fax number for final verification, afterward you will be directed on how to receive your winnings.

Your full name:....................
Age:..................
Gender:..............
AddressSadResident Address Only)........
Email:....................................
Contact Telephone, Mobile and Fax number:............
Occupation:...................
Amount Won......................
State, Postal Code and Country:............

CONTACT PERSON: Mr. Morris Parker
CONTACT E-MAIL: morris.parker0@gmail.com
ADDRESS: Australia
TELEPHONE: +614-88804163
FAX: +612-80155650

As soon as we verify your identity and Security Code number from you, we will immediately release your total sum through wire transfer into your nominated bank account or platinum automated card will be issued with withdrawal analysis according to the global financial law guiding lottery release through (ATM).

Once again, Congratulations

MEGA MILLIONS

Eric D. Burns
Chief Financial Officer
Phone +1-7188798977

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  For Sale / Wanted forum
Posted by: Kingy - 09-15-2014, 10:20 AM - Forum: General Chat and Banter and Sillyness! Anything goes. - Replies (8)

Just realised that we haven't put one in the forum. Do folk want one? If so it can be added no problem.

Alternatively we can just add selling or wanted posts in the general chat forum for now and if we get a few we can then add a seperate section.

Let me know your thoughts. Ta. Big Grin

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  This is now the default Monkey site.
Posted by: Kingy - 09-13-2014, 04:03 PM - Forum: General Chat and Banter and Sillyness! Anything goes. - Replies (8)

You may still get directed to the old site via your links/bookmarks and computers cache memory, but this is now the default monkey site and so the following web addresses are pointed to this site:

http://www.throttlemonkey.co.uk
http://www.throttlemonkeys.co.uk
http://www.muddymonkeys.co.uk

I've (literally) just updated the settings as our old host on the old site has just issued the invoice for next month. As I don't intend paying this they will shut access to the site down within a day or so. Rather than have a blank site when this happens, we now have our new home.

Spread the word .... Smile

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