Joke Thread ... Add yours.

[Kingy]

Ha ha. Like those Ghost.

[jollyjoiner]

(02-28-2016, 06:49 PM)Ghost Wrote: I was on a train this morning, in the loo, when a voice called out, "Can I see your ticket please?"

"Not right now." I replied, "I'm having a dump."

"I don't believe you." Said the voice. "Slide it under the door."

"No probs," I said. "The yellow bits are sweetcorn" ..............





Just had some strobe lights fitted in the bedroom.

Sex is the same, but the wife looks like she's moving now......

Hahaha I liked those

[Kingy]

I was at the cash machine yesterday and an old man asked if I could check his balance.
So I pushed him over...

[FraserG]

A bloke just threw milk over me....
How dairy!

[Kingy]

It might be cold and rainy, but I’ve decided to put up a marquee in my garden with some funky music and flashing lights in it.
Now is the winter of my disco tent...

[Kingy]

I somehow managed to get jelly in one ear and custard in the other.
I think I’m a trifle deaf...

[Ghost2]

Woke up this morning, funny smell coming from the kitchen. Find one of my socks in the oven, roasted.
"What's going on here, Darling?" Says I.
"Well you came home pished last night and asked me to cuck your sock!

[Kingy]

Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies.

Is that a trick question?

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What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hareline.

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I got an e-mail saying;
'At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!'
I thought, "That's just spam."

[Kingy]

How many people with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?
Let's go play on our bikes...

------

A mummy has just been discovered in Egypt covered head to toe in chocolate and nuts.
Archaeologists believe it might be Pharaoh Roché...

[Kingy]

Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke’s still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere.
Obi-Wan finally snaps; Use the forks, Luke....