Goths dancing to thomas the tank engine

Hahahahahahahahaha ace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jltKnDlH_OA

I do a 'longer' ride home in the evening to get a few miles in on the road bike (cycle). Normally on a Wednesday I'm out with my mate Dave and we do +/- 30 miles. As United were playing I told him I needed to leave earlier and do a shorted route.

As is always the case a customer phoned late (5.40pm) and I needed to re-jig production schedules as a result so ended up leaving half an hour later than intended.

I set off on my route. Headwind all the way which was horrible, but I knew I'd get a tailwind the last 6 miles (of just over 18) so that would be good.

After a couple of miles I thought I had a slow puncture. When I got chance I checked the front wheel, but pressure ok and it was fixed tightly inplace. I carried on.

Was 12 miles in and just about to start enjoying the ride with some wind asssitance. Accelerated away from traffic lights (so pushing hard on pedals and pulling hard on the bars) and got upto about 25mph with cars behind me when I felt the front go 'vague'. I stopped pedalling and my speed dropped to about 20mph when this happened:

I assumed I'd got a puncture so tried to brake.
No Brakes.
Tried to steer.
No steering.

This all happened within seconds ...





The stem failed at the weld and I ripped the fecking bars clean off!

The front wheel tucked on me and I then hit down hard to my right (fortunately). No traffic coming the other way (as I was late - fortunately!) as my head smacked the tarmac and I then did a rag doll impression bouncing down the road. I could see car lights behind me in the corner of my eye and I was desperately trying to slide to my right into clear road.

I eventually came to a stop, grabbed the bike and got on the pavement.

Managed to avoid hitting anything or getting run over.

I've got a comedy limp where the bike gave me a right stab and cuts and bruises all over. Very very lucky though as had it happened almost anywhere else on that route I'd have hit a car or been travelling a lot faster so ended up hitting road furniture or stationary vehicles.

It must have looked bloody funny to anyone watching!

Cabinet Minister has resigned, an officer in jail for a year, three officers being investigated for lying and "gaps and inconsistencies" in PC Rowlands account, yet PC Rowland gets a huge payout.

... PC gets £80k payout after launching a libel action for allegedley being called a "Pleb", claiming that his reputation has been damaged by the MP's remarks and that he suffered "great distress, humiliation and upset".

£80k for being called a pleb despite the appearance that not one of these people involved have told the complete truth. Reading the Judges comments it would seem PC Rowlands only saving grace is that he is "not the sort of man who would have had the wit, imagination or inclination to invent on the spur of the moment an account of what a senior politician had said to him in temper".
So, they feel he is too thick to make that bit up. FFS.

What is the world coming to. At best this is a huge waste of time and money. I don't see any 'winners' here despite the payout which is disgraceful.

Quote:The police officer at the centre of the "plebgate" row has accepted £80,000 in damages from Conservative MP Andrew Mitchell.

A judge ruled last year the MP probably had called PC Toby Rowland, an officer on duty at Downing Street's gates, a "pleb".

Mr Mitchell accepted using bad language but said he had not used that word.

The ex-chief whip has already paid £300,000 in legal costs to the Sun newspaper and the Police Federation.

He lost a high-profile action against News Group Newspapers, publishers of the Sun, in November.

A judge said he had reached the "firm conclusion" that Mr Mitchell had used the "politically-toxic" word "pleb" in September 2012 when he was not allowed to cycle through the main Downing Street vehicle gates.

PC Rowland's lawyer, Jeremy Clarke-Williams, told Mr Justice Warby that since that judgment Mr Mitchell "has abandoned the other defences he had raised to my client's claim and consequently terms of settlement have been agreed".

The solicitor added: "The payment of £80,000 damages by Mr Mitchell sets the seal on PC Rowland's vindication, as well as providing compensation for the injury to his reputation and the distress caused to him and his family over many months.

"Pc Rowland never felt that the events in Downing Street were anything more than a minor incident.

"He was not responsible for the publicity which followed and would have much preferred that the whole matter had never entered the public domain.

"He now simply wishes to be left in peace to continue his police career."

Neither Mr Mitchell nor Pc Rowland was in court.

'Great distress'
The row centres around a 15-second confrontation between Mr Mitchell and PC Rowland, after the then cabinet minister was refused permission to cycle through the main gates at Downing Street.

The story was splashed across the front page of The Sun, which said the chief whip swore at the officers and called them "plebs" who should learn their place.

Mr Mitchell admitted swearing but denied using the word "pleb".

He was forced to resign from the cabinet but vowed to clear his name in the libel courts, launching an action against The Sun.

PC Rowland then launched a libel action against Mr Mitchell, claiming that his reputation has been damaged by the MP's remarks and that he suffered "great distress, humiliation and upset".

In November 2014, Mr Justice Mitting ruled that Mitchell probably did call police officers "plebs"

Weighing up the competing claims, the judge said PC Rowland was "not the sort of man who would have had the wit, imagination or inclination to invent on the spur of the moment an account of what a senior politician had said to him in temper".

Officer jailed
He added that gaps and inconsistencies in PC Rowland's account did not demonstrate he had fabricated his account, as Mr Mitchell's lawyers claimed.

The judge ordered Mr Mitchell to pay interim costs of £300,000 but the total legal bill he will face is not yet known.

A Scotland Yard diplomatic protection officer has been jailed for 12 months after admitting lying about the "plebgate" incident.

Keith Wallis falsely claimed in an email to his MP, the Conservative deputy chief whip John Randall, that he had witnessed the confrontation.

Wallis and three other members of the Metropolitan Police's elite diplomatic protection squad have been sacked for gross misconduct in relation to the "plebgate" incident and its subsequent leaking to the press.

Separately, the Independent Police Complaints Commission, has launched an investigation into three officers - one each from from the Warwickshire, West Mercia and West Midlands forces - over an account they gave of a meeting with Mr Mitchell at the height of the affair.

We've all seen the videos when smart arses make fun of others for youtube. These are a few of the times where said smart arses picked the wrong victims. Ouch!

International study of 15,000 penises is being used to reassure men concerned they are not within the ‘normal range’ ....

Quote:The enduring question now has a scientific answer: 13.12 centimetres (5.16 inches) in length when erect, and 11.66cm (4.6 inches) around, according to an analysis of more than 15,000 penises around the world.

In a flaccid state, it found, the penis of the average man is 9.16cm (3.6 inches) in length and has a girth of 9.31cm (3.7 inches).

The numbers should help “reassure the large majority of men that the size of their penis is in the normal range”, said British researchers who had assembled data from studies where participants had their member measured by a professional.

The team then used the collated numbers to devise a graph that doctors can use in counselling men with “small penis anxiety”.

The enduring question now has a scientific answer: 13.12 centimetres (5.16 inches) in length when erect, and 11.66cm (4.6 inches) around, according to an analysis of more than 15,000 penises around the world.

In a flaccid state, it found, the penis of the average man is 9.16cm (3.6 inches) in length and has a girth of 9.31cm (3.7 inches).

The numbers should help “reassure the large majority of men that the size of their penis is in the normal range”, said British researchers who had assembled data from studies where participants had their member measured by a professional.

The team then used the collated numbers to devise a graph that doctors can use in counselling men with “small penis anxiety”.

In the worst cases, men may be diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder – a debilitating psychological condition that can lead to obsessive and anti-social behaviour, depression and even suicide.

In reality, only 2.28% of the male population have an abnormally small penis, said the study – and the same percentage an unusually large one.

The study participants were men aged 17 to 91 who had their penises measured in 20 previously published studies conducted in Europe, Asia, Africa and the United States.

The team found no evidence for penis size differences linked to race, though most of the study participants were of European and Middle Eastern descent and a full comparison could thus not be made.

Nor did the researchers find any convincing correlation between a man’s foot size and the length of his manhood.

They acknowledged their results may have been somewhat skewed by the possibility that men who volunteer to be examined may be more confident in their penis size than the general population.

The team said their work, published in the BJU International journal of urology, was the first to combine all existing data on penis length and girth into a definitive graph.

The information may be useful for reassuring men worried about their size. But it may also have the unintended effect of denting the egos of those who thought they were abnormally well-endowed.

Doctors may also use the graph to help men find well-fitting condoms, said the team.

A refreshing take on the old Nigerian scams. At least they are trying to vary it

Quote:Attn: My Dear,

I am Mrs Connie Dutton, I am a US citizen, 51 years Old. I reside here in Silver Springs Florida. My residential address is as follows. 7008 E Hwy 326 Silver Springs Florida 34488, United States, am thinking of relocating since I am now rich. I am one of those that took part in the Compensation in Nigeria many years ago and they refused to pay me, I had paid over US$20,000 while in the US, trying to get my payment all to no avail.

So I decided to travel down to Nigeria with all my compensation documents, And I was directed to meet Barrister George Alex, who is the member of COMPENSATION AWARD COMMITTEE, and I contacted him and he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us through emails are fake.

He took me to the paying bank for the claim of my Compensation payment. Right now I am the most happiest woman on earth because I have received my compensation funds of $1.5 Million US Dollars Moreover, Barrister George Alex, showed me the full information of those that are yet to receive their payments and I saw your email address as one of the beneficiaries, that is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with those people, they are not with your fund, they are only making money out of you. I will advise you to contact Barrister George Alex.

You have to contact him directly on this information below.

COMPENSATION AWARD HOUSE
Name : Barrister George Alex(Esq)
Email: barrister.georgeal@qq.com
Direct Telephone: +234-909-945-9593

You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your fund is with them, it is not in anyway with them, they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have nothing.

The only money I paid after I met Barrister George Alex was just US$570 for the paper works, take note of that.

As soon as you contact him he will send you the payment information which you are to use in sending the payment to him in order for him to obtain the document from the court of law there in Nigeria so that your fund can be transfer to you without any delay just the way mine was being transfer to me.

Send him the following details if you know you are ready to have your FUNDS so that as soon as he receive your information he will send to you the payment details for sending him the $570USD that is needed for him to get the document that is needed to make the transfer a successful one and that is that only payment i made to Barrister George Alex and he help me in the
transferring of my FUNDS and i most say that you have to contact him so that he will help you the way he help me to Get my FUNDS without any further payment.

Fill Out the information to him if you are ready to get your FUNDS

Your Full Name:...............
Direct Phone:....................
Country.................
Occupation:.....................
Gender:.........
Age:..............

Once again stop contacting those people, I will advise you to contact Barrister George Alex so that he can help you to Deliver your fund instead of dealing with those liars that will be turning you around asking for different kind of money to complete your transaction.

Thank You and Be Blessed.

Mrs Connie Dutton.
7008 E Hwy 326 Silver Springs
Florida 34488, United States

Sadly; Spock has sadly died today aged 83.

Live long and prosper. I was brought up watching Leonard Nimoy on both TV and film. A sad passing of another part of my life.

Ever wanted to change some settings on your car like, for example ... activate total closure with the remote fob (Keep the lock button pressed and it locks doors and closes all windows), activate auto headlights, or change the time delay on lights?

*If* your car is compatible, and the features are there to unlock you no longer have to be at the mercy of your dealer with his hourly rates. You just need this app ...

https://play.google.com/store/apps/detai...Dclublexus

And on of these ELM327 OBD2 OBD-II bluetooth tools ... http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mbuynow-Bluetoot...LM327+V1.5

For more info on compatible cars have a look at their website: http://www.caristaapp.com/

There are in app purchases dependant on what you want to do, but even so they are much cheaper than dealers charges and you can try altering settings, then put them back if you don't like it.

This is an idea of what you can do ...

Quote:The following settings were available specifically to your vehicle using Carista:


Doors / Windows / Remote:

Blink turn signals when locking/unlocking with remote
*YES* / NO

Beep when locking/unlocking with remote
*YES* / NO

Volume of beep when locking/unocking with remote
OFF / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / *MAX*

Beep when opening/closing windows with remote
*YES* / NO

Warn when door can't be locked with remote because it's open
*YES* / NO

Panic function on remote
*ENABLED* / DISABLED

Re-lock doors automatically if you unlock, but don't open a door
*YES* / NO

Re-lock doors automatically if you unlock, but don't open a door within…
30 SECONDS / *60 SECONDS* / 120 SECONDS

Unlock doors via remote
*DRIVER'S DOOR ON 1ST PRESS, ALL ON 2ND* / ALL DOORS ON 1ST PRESS

Unlock doors via physical key
*DRIVER'S DOOR ON 1ST PRESS, ALL ON 2ND* / ALL DOORS ON 1ST PRESS

Auto unlock doors via smart key
*DRIVER'S DOOR ON 1ST PRESS, ALL ON 2ND* / ALL DOORS ON 1ST PRESS

Auto-lock doors when moving
*ON* / OFF

Lock doors when shifting into gear
*ON* / OFF

Unlock doors when shifting into park (P)
ON / *OFF*

Unlock all doors when driver's door is opened
ON / *OFF*

After locking with smart key, allow re-opening within…
0.5 SECONDS / 1.5 SECONDS / *2.5 SECONDS* / 5 SECONDS

Smart key location to start car
FRONT SEATS / *ANYWHERE IN VEHICLE*

Open trunk via smart access button
DISABLED / DOUBLE CLICK / *LONG PRESS*

Open windows/sunroof by holding key in door lock
*ON* / OFF

Close windows/sunroof by holding key in door lock
*ON* / OFF

Open windows and sunroof via long-press on remote
*ON* / OFF

Beep when opening/closing power rear hatch
YES / *NO*

Unlock via "One motion"
*REAR HATCH ONLY* / ALL DOORS

Open rear hatch via "One motion" remote
DISABLED / SINGLE CLICK / DOUBLE CLICK / LONG PRESS / DOUBLE CLICK ON UNLOCK BUTTON / *LONG PRESS ON UNLOCK BUTTON*

Rear hatch open assistance
*ENABLED* / DISABLED


Instruments / Display / Dings:

Ding when headlights are left on
*YES* / NO

Remote low battery warning
*ON* / OFF

Front parking sensor range
NARROW / *WIDE*

Rear parking sensor range
NARROW / *WIDE*

Mute parking sensor when stationary for more than 3 sec.
YES / *NO*

Parking sensor beep volume
1 / 2 / *3* / 4 / MAX

Activate parking sensors in neutral (N)
*YES* / NO

Enable front parking sensors when in reverse ®
FRONT / *FRONT CORNER* / OFF

Enable rear parking sensors when in neutral or forward gear
REAR / REAR CORNER / *OFF*

Dash display mode
*ALL* / UNDISP

ECO Drive indicator zone
*ON* / OFF


Lights:

Daytime running lights
*ON* / OFF

Coming-home lights duration
OFF / *30 SECONDS* / 60 SECONDS / 90 SECONDS

Auto headlights activation threshold
MUCH DARKER / DARKER / *NORMAL* / LIGHTER / MUCH LIGHTER

Turn on marker lights when vehicle is unlocked via remote
*ON* / OFF

Instrument lights dimming sensitivity
MUCH DARKER / DARKER / *NORMAL* / LIGHTER / MUCH LIGHTER

Instrument lights restoring sensitivity
MUCH DARKER / DARKER / *NORMAL* / LIGHTER / MUCH LIGHTER

Dim interior lights after…
7 SECONDS / *15 SECONDS* / 30 SECONDS

Turn on interior lights when you shut off engine
*YES* / NO

Turn on interior lights when you unlock doors
*YES* / NO

Turn on interior lights when smart key in range
*YES* / NO

Center console spotlight (bright when doors open, dim when driving)
*YES* / NO

Turn on exterior footlight (on side mirror) when smart key in range
*YES* / NO

Turn on exterior footlight (on side mirror) when doors unlocked via remote
*YES* / NO

Turn on exterior footlight (on side mirror) for…
OFF / 7 SECONDS / *15 SECONDS* / 30 SECONDS

Interior light control
*ENABLED* / DISABLED

Exterior light control
*ENABLED* / DISABLED


Heater & A/C:

Temperature dial calibration
-2°C / -1°C / *NORMAL* / +1°C / +2°C

A/C evaporator control
*AUTOMATIC* / MANUAL

A/C ECO mode
*ENABLED* / DISABLED

Auto-increase blower speed when front defroster is on
*YES* / NO

Auto-turn on A/C when AUTO button pressed (if needed)
*YES* / NO

Deactivate front defroster when AUTO button pressed
*YES* / NO


Other:

Slide driver's seat back for easy exit
OFF / SHORT / *STANDARD*

Happy birthday mate. Have a good 'un. I spotted you on here yesterday, so hopefully you will get on today to see this.

Hard to pick a winner here... BRAINS OF BRITAIN

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman:
What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers' ?
Contestant:
Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman:
No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you


BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston:
Where do you think Cambridge University is ?
Contestant:
Geography isn't my strong point.
Jamie Theakston:
There's a clue in the title.
Contestant:
Leicester


BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White:
Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World ?
Contestant:
I don't know.
Stewart White:
I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow ?
Contestant:
Arm
Stewart White:
Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant:
Strong.
Stewart White:
Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name ?
Contestant:
Louis
Stewart White:
Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World ?
Contestant:
Frank Sinatra ?


LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
Alex Trelinski:
What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant:
France.
Trelinski:
France is another country. Try again.
Contestant:
Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski:
Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon ?
Contestant:
Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski:
Just guess a country then.
Contestant:
Paris.


THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson:
Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party ?
Contestant:
The Conservative Party.

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark:
For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope ?
Ruth from Rowley Regis:
I think I know that one.. Is it Jewish ?


UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoyne:
What was Gandhi's first name ?
Contestant:
Goosey ?

GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter:
What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ?
Contestant:
I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO ? MANCHESTER )
Phil:
What's 11 squared ?
Contestant:
I don't know.
Phil:
I'll give you a clue It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant:
Is it five ?

RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard:
Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman ?
Contestant:
Forrest Gump.


RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard:
On which street did Sherlock Holmes live ?
Contestant:
Er. ... ...
Richard:
He makes bread . .. ..
Contestant:
Er .. ......
Richard:
He makes cakes . .. ..
Contestant:
Kipling Street ?


LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter:
Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world ?
Contestant:
Barcelona..
Presenter:
I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant:
I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .


NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question:
What is the world's largest continent ?
Contestant:
The Pacific.


ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter:
Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci
Contestant:
Who Framed Roger Rabbit ?


THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre:
What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant:
Magna Carta ?



JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
James O'Brien:
How many kings of England have been called Henry ?
Contestant:
Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three ?


CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Chris Searle:
In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller:
Japan.
Chris Searle:
I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again..
Caller:
Er ........ Mexico ?


PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat:
How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last ?
Contestant (long pause):
Fourteen days.


DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham:
In which country would you spend shekels ?
Contestant:
Holland ?
Daryl Denham:
Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant:
Iceland? Ireland ?
Daryl Denham: (helpfully)
It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant:
No.


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Phil Wood:
What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible ?
Contestant:
Er... .... ...
Phil Wood:
It's got two syllables .. .. . Kor . .
Contestant:
Blimey ?
Phil Wood:
Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant:
(Silence)
Phil Wood:
OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant:
Walked ?


THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes:
What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time ?
Contestant:
Nostalgia.


LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter:
What religion was Guy Fawkes ?
Contestant:
Jewish.
Presenter:
That's close enough.


STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright:
Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play ?
Contestant:
Jesus.